O let me so long eye Thee, till I be turned into Thee.
He sees their stringy, hairy
legs twisting in
his head, and birds that kamikaze the
heart. He sees them in his
bedroom, weaving. They float in air, cause
small eclipses of the sun on
their dew-drenched webs. What
we see as beauty in the woods is horror in the mind. The doctor would
have preferred hiding from students their diagnoses of schizophrenia.
Mind is not intended to be world, but to enter it like an
insect. We crawled on the forest floor, pretending to be ants. Now
ants have invaded his head; everything that moves disintegrates. When
you tap the web with a stick, the spider sends thread into air and
sails out upon
it. This is call and response, when you are not yourself the spider's
keeper. When nothing's left,
you will know
you're real.
--31
May 2015