Friday, August 5, 2011

Grieving Manuals / Grieving Manually

Yesterday brought me two manuals on grieving. One was a "Bereavement Publication from Heartland Hospice" and the other a poem of sorts, "Recalculating." The article, "Just Breathe" (which uses "breathe" as both noun and verb) is by CG, Bereavement Coordinator. Another article is titled "What Is the Shape of Your Grief Journey." The poem is by C. Bernstein, BS (Bereavement Saboteur). Herewith a collage, including snips from Wikipedia, followed by a brief quiz for the student of bereavement.

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We can go on and on with examples of how the physical losses are manifested. Each aspect needs to be death with in a gentle, healing manner. Grief needs safe people and safe places to be expressed. Again remember to breathe.

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HCR ManorCare operates primarily under the Heartland, ManorCare Health Services and Arden Courts names. In 2006, it earned $167 million on sales of $3.6 billion.

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Each day I know less than the day before. People say that you learn something from such experiences, but I don’t want that knowledge and for me there are no fruits to these experiences, only ashes. I can’t and don’t want to “heal”; perhaps, though, go on in the full force of my disabilities, coexisting with a brokenness that cannot be accommodated, in the dark.
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When we imagine people without books, we think of villagers in places like Afghanistan. But many families in the United States have no children’s books at home. In some of the poorest areas of the country, it’s hard to find books for sale. A study (pdf) of low-income neighborhoods in Philadelphia, for example, found a ratio of one book for sale for every 300 children. Tens of millions of poor Americans can’t afford to buy books at all. David Bornstein

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Manor Care began in 1959, when Stewart Bainum, Sr., a former plumber, opened a nursing home in Wheaton, Maryland. The company went public in 1969.

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Orphaned by the world, with no home but there.

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In 1998, Ohio-based Health Care and Retirement Corporation merged with Manor Care to become HCR Manor Care. The company headquarters was consolidated in Toledo.

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We are gathered at a site of dialogue. As chaotic as our discussion may sometimes seem, we are always making patterns with them.

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In July 2007, the company agreed to a $4.9 billion buyout offer from the private equity firm Carlyle Group; it will no longer be a publicly traded corporation. Analysts said that Carlyle was interested in the company because it owns, rather than leases, nearly all its own facilities and boasts arguably the best real-estate portfolio in the business, with generally well-maintained, newer facilities in good locations, and little mortgage debt. By borrowing against the property to finance the buyout, Manor Care and Carlyle can carry out the deal on favorable terms. The buyout was completed at $67 per share on December 21, 2007. [For more on the Carlyle Group, see here.]

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Inside you recognize that life is not the same, you are changed and life is a little harder right now. Being in shock protects you from feeling everything at once.

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The tab for Bernstein's poem reads "Just Out."

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The absence of ornament is an ornament.

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Finding "You" means taking time with yourself. You have experienced an emotional trauma that needs as much tending to as a physical trauma.

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Our inalienable rights are inevitably alienated; in this way, capitalism seems to merge with destiny; or our fate, through a darkened glass, is projected onto the world of which we are sentient.

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Simplify your life while you are healing the inside. Get help with your surroundings and make them peaceful and life giving.

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I’m talking to you, you motherfucker.

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What is the shape of your path? For some, though rare, it is a straight line. For some, it's a path with some curves. For some, a jagged course of extreme up and down, in and out, back and forth. For some, it's a path winding slowly inward, then out again, like a labyrinth. For others, it's a spiral circling around again and again, with each completed circle bringing a new understanding of past experience.

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As of the end of 2006, the company had approximately 59,500 employees, including part-time employees. About 7,100 employees were salaried; the rest were hourly employees. About 1,400 employees were members of labor unions.

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QUIZ. Answer yes or no.


1. Reading pamphlets, poems, articles, and wikipedia has helped me grieve. YES NO


2. There is an inextricable link between style and substance (bottom line profits) in the selections above. YES NO


3. In refusing to "heal," Charles Bernstein is neglecting the duty of the poet to console us. YES NO


4. Are you a member of a labor union? YES NO


5. Is grieving solitary or collaborative? YES NO


6. How do you calculate the debt ceiling of your grief? YES NO


7. Is your grief single or double dip? YES NO


8. Are you talking to me, motherfucker? YES NO


9. How many children's books does your family own? Poetry books? Grief manuals? YES NO


10. Is this work of collage mystical or Marxist? YES NO


11. Are you, or anyone you know, breathing? YES NO

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Ed. note: The workers of Heartland Hospice were unwaveringly professional and kind in my dealings with them, as were the caregivers at ManorCare.









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